Journey Women's Center, Author at Journey Women's Center | Enid, OK

What is the difference between the Plan B and Plan C pills?

Journey Women's Center — Tue, 11 Jun 2024 15:10:37 +0000

When navigating reproductive health options, it’s important to understand the differences between these two medications. Plan B, or the “morning after” pill, and Plan C, abortion pills, serve different purposes and work in fundamentally different ways. Journey Women’s Center provides education, as well as practical and emotional support, empowering women to make informed decisions about their reproductive health.

Key Differences: Purpose, Timing, and How They Work

The primary difference between Plan B and Plan C lies in their purpose and timing. Plan C is designed to terminate an existing pregnancy, while Plan B is intended to prevent pregnancy before it occurs. Plan C is found to be effective within the first 10 weeks of pregnancy and requires a specific two-step process.

In contrast, Plan B is a single-dose pill taken after unprotected sex and is most effective when used promptly. The abortion pill works by inducing a miscarriage, whereas Plan B works by preventing ovulation, fertilization, or implantation.

Plan B: What It Is and How It Works

Plan B, also known as the “morning-after pill,” is an emergency contraceptive intended to prevent pregnancy after unprotected sex or contraceptive failure. It contains a high dose of levonorgestrel, a hormone commonly found in birth control pills.

Plan B works primarily by delaying ovulation, meaning it prevents the release of an egg from the ovary. If ovulation has already occurred, Plan B may also work by preventing fertilization or by preventing a fertilized egg from implanting in the uterus. Plan B is most effective when taken as soon as possible after unprotected sex, recommended within 72 hours.

While Plan B has been found to be effective, it does not always prevent pregnancy. Plan B does not protect against sexually transmitted infections. If you have had unprotected sex, it is important to guard your health and get tested. Untreated, sexually transmitted infections can greatly impact your reproductive health and cause infertility in both men and women.

Plan C: What It Is and How It Works

Plan C, often referred to as the abortion pills or a medication abortion, involves a two-step process using two different medications: mifepristone and misoprostol. Mifepristone works by blocking the hormone progesterone, which is necessary for the pregnancy to continue. Without this hormone, the lining of the uterus breaks down, and the pregnancy cannot proceed.

Misoprostol, taken 24-48 hours after mifepristone, causes the uterus to contract and expel the pregnancy. This method is used to terminate an existing pregnancy and is effective up to 10 weeks gestation.

Pre-abortion Screening Before Taking Plan C

If you have had a positive pregnancy test and are considering Plan C, it is important to get a pre-abortion screening. Journey Women’s Center provides free and confidential services, pregnancy testing and limited OB ultrasounds that confirm whether a pregnancy can progress. Contact us to schedule your free limited-OB ultrasound to confirm your pregnancy.

Miscarriage occurs in 25% of pregnancies and may require medical attention. Plan C does not eliminate an ectopic pregnancy a non-viable pregnancy due to implantation in the fallopian tube. This can be life-threatening and requires medical intervention.

Prior to 2020, Plan C pills were purchased through an abortion provider. Providers would perform an ultrasound in order to rule out an ectopic pregnancy. They would accurately assess the duration of the pregnancy, as the medication was not as effective after 10 weeks gestation. They were required to provide surgical intervention in case of an incomplete abortion or severe bleeding and have the ability to provide care through other qualified physicians, should any complications arise. Providers would test for anemia and Rh-status, which can affect future pregnancies.

Though Plan C is affordable and accessible, these safety measures are no longer in place for women having self-managed abortions at home.

Journey Women’s Center provides a safe space to think through options, along with education about what to expect, possible risks, when to seek medical attention, and after-effects. We also provide abortion recovery services to women who may be struggling following an abortion.

Plan C is not a 100% safe process. If you experience severe pain, heavy bleeding (soaking through more than two pads per hour for two consecutive hours), fever, or any other concerning symptoms, seek medical attention promptly.

If you take the pill then regret your decision, there is a chance you could reverse your abortion.

Empowering Informed Decisions

Understanding the differences between Plan B and Plan C is essential for making informed decisions about reproductive health. While both medications play significant roles in managing reproductive outcomes, they serve distinct purposes and operate differently within the body. By being informed, women can better evaluate their options to make safe choices that align with their needs and circumstances.

Always seek professional medical advice to ensure the safe and appropriate use of any medication.

If you have further questions or need support, Journey Women’s Center is here to provide education and compassionate care.

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Teen Dating Awareness: Signs and Prevention

Journey Women's Center — Wed, 07 Feb 2024 21:20:53 +0000

Maybe you are a mother of a teenager who has noticed something “off” about your child’s recent behaviors – or that of your teen’s significant other. Maybe you are a teenager who is beginning to feel uneasy about how you have been treated and are wondering if it is “normal.” Maybe you are afraid to say anything about your own relationship or a friend’s; afraid you will be accused of being paranoid, nosy, or jealous.

Adolescence is complex enough as it is, and it is crucial to address the nearly 1 in 3 adolescents in the United States who are victims of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner with teenagers between 16 and 24 being at the highest risk1. It is important to note that teen dating violence is significantly underreported. Many victims are hesitant to come forward due to fear, shame, or lack of awareness about available support.

The repercussions of teen dating violence are associated with adverse mental health outcomes. Victims may experience depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, and substance abuse as a result of the trauma.

Understanding Teen Dating Violence

Teen dating violence refers to the physical, emotional, or sexual abuse that occurs within a romantic or intimate relationship among teenagers. This can manifest in various forms, such as verbal abuse, controlling behaviors, physical violence, or digital abuse through social media platforms. Often, these situations are overlooked or dismissed, perpetuating a cycle of harm. Abusive relationships often involve power and control, where one partner seeks dominance over the other. By identifying signs and patterns, we can intervene early and break the cycle.

Digital dating violence has become increasingly prevalent in this era dominated by technology. Harassment, stalking, and the dissemination of explicit content without consent are forms of abuse that occur online. Keeping an open line of communication and educating teenagers with the knowledge to navigate the digital landscape safely is crucial in preventing these forms of abuse.

Promoting Healthy Relationships

Empathy and awareness also extend to promoting positive and healthy relationships. By emphasizing the importance of communication, mutual respect, and consent, we can empower teenagers to build relationships based on trust and understanding. Teaching conflict resolution skills and encouraging open dialogue can contribute to the creation of a culture that rejects violence.

Schools, parents, and guardians are instrumental in shaping the attitudes and behaviors of young individuals. Implementing comprehensive education programs and having open discussions about consent, boundaries, and respect lays the foundation of developing healthy relationships.

These conversations help create a supportive environment where teens feel empowered to speak out against dating violence. It is essential for adults to actively listen to their teenagers, creating a space where they feel comfortable discussing their relationships without fear of judgment.

Warning Signs of Teen Dating Violence

These are common warning signs of abusive relationships. Not all of them must be present for someone to be in a violent relationship.

Excessive jealousy

A partner may begin displaying intense jealousy, attempting to control the other’s interactions with friends and family, or becoming upset when the victim spends time away from them.

Isolation

The abuser may attempt to isolate the victim from friends and family, making it difficult for them to maintain healthy relationships outside of the romantic partnership.

Verbal and/or Emotional Abuse

Constant criticism, humiliation and verbal insults can be warning signs. Emotional manipulation, guilt-tripping, or playing mind games are also red flags.

Physical Violence

Any form of physical aggression including hitting, slapping or pushing is a clear indication of an unhealthy and potentially dangerous relationship.

Controlling Partner

A controlling partner may try to dictate where their victim goes, what they wear, and/or who they spend time with. Monitoring the victim’s activities through texts or social media is another warning sign.

Changes in Behavior

Sudden changes in behavior, such as withdrawal from social activities, declining academic performance, or drastic mood swings, may be indicative of an abusive relationship.

Other warning signs include unwanted sexual advances, being controlling of money, become fearful of their partner, or threats of violence may indicate an abusive or potentially abusive relationship.

Teen dating violence is a pervasive issue that often remains shrouded in silence.

As friends, parents, guardians, co-workers, and religious leaders, we can foster empathy and awareness to create a safer and more supportive environment for young individuals.

It is through collective efforts that we can dismantle the barriers that perpetuate teen dating violence, paving the way for a future marked by understanding and compassion. If you, or someone you know, may be experiencing teen dating violence, tell someone.

1 The National Survey on Teen Relationships and Intimate Violence (STRiV). (2016).
Journal of Interpersonal Violence. (2017). Teen Dating Violence (Physical and Sexual) Among US High School Students

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Navigating Postpartum Recovery

Journey Women's Center — Fri, 19 Jan 2024 22:30:11 +0000

I consider myself to be a very organized, prepared person, so before my twins were born I thought I had covered everything. Go-bag. Check. Nursery. Check. Meals prepped. Check. One thing I had not prepared for: my own recovery after the girls arrived.

Bringing a new life (or two) into the world is a beautiful whirlwind of change. Not only are sleep and caring for a newborn challenging, but emotions and various facets of postpartum recovery can creep up on you if you don’t expect them. Every woman has a unique experience. Some friends of mine delivered vaginally and were out shopping with their baby two days after giving birth. Others had horrible tears that required additional care. Mine was a c-section that left me on the couch for five days feeling helpless. This phase is often overlooked, but deserves attention, care, and understanding.

Physical Recovery

Whether you have had a c-section or delivered vaginally, take your doctor’s orders seriously. No one wants to deal with a painful infection while you are taking care of a newborn. Be sure to keep the wound clean and dry and watch for increasing redness or a hot feeling to the touch.

In the weeks or months after giving birth, your body is once again on a hormone rollercoaster. We all know hormones change our moods and emotions, but it can also impact things like our hair. When I began losing huge clumps of hair in the shower I was worried. Turns out it is quite common, but I had no idea! Ask your doctor (and friends who have had children) what to expect. Your experience may be different, but at least you will know you are not alone!

Expect your pelvic floor and abs to take a while to recover – and to need special exercises to get back to where they were before baby came along. The bands in your stomach had to stretch to allow for more room as your pregnancy progressed. Many women end up with a separation between the two abdominal muscles, which is referred to as Diastasis Recti. Weak abdominal muscles can lead to core instability, back or posture issues and sometimes constipation. Bladder and pelvic muscles are also impacted during pregnancy. No one thinks about dealing with a leaky bladder – until it happens to them. Discuss with your doctor which exercises will help with Diastasis Recti and incontinence and when it is safe to begin.

Emotional Well-Being

Postpartum emotions can change from one moment to the next: from joy and elation to uncertainty or even sadness. “Baby blues” refer to the first few weeks after delivery while your body is re-balancing your hormones. If anxiety, crying or restlessness continue, or if you have feelings of hurting yourself or your baby, you are not a bad mom! Some women’s hormones need help getting back on track. See your doctor promptly. Don’t feel guilty asking for help – be proud of yourself for helping you and your baby have a strong start! And don’t skip your postpartum check-up – even if you feel fine. Your doctor sees new moms every day and can be a great source of information!

Building a Strong Support Network

Moms are strong. No doubt about it. We become expert nose-wipers, diaper changers, meal-preppers, alphabet-teachers…you name it! But what we are not always good at is asking for help. It often makes us feel like a failure or that we can’t do everything. Ding, ding, ding! Guess what?! We can’t! And we don’t have to! I love meeting people’s needs, and I’ve learned that when I get turned down I feel like I am being robbed of being a blessing to others. Allow your partner, friends and family to help around the house – even if you can do it yourself. Take time to rest, heal, and bond with your baby. It is sometimes helpful to keep a list handy of things that need to be done, so that when someone asks you can say, “Well, here is my to-do list if there is anything on there you would enjoy doing.” This gives them a choice of how to help, and you don’t have to try to think of something on the fly that needs to be done!

Postpartum recovery is a transformation period that requires patience and support. Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all experience. Take time to nurture yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually and seek help when needed. And always remember to consult your physician for personalized guidance and care during this incredible part of your life.

Resources

• Mayo Clinic. (n.d.). Postpartum Depression.
• University of Colorado Women’s Health. Urogynecology. (n.d.). Incontinence After Childbirth.
• Cleveland Clinic. (n.d.). Diastasis Recti.

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Understanding Endometriosis: Navigating the Challenges and Seeking Support

Journey Women's Center — Fri, 19 Jan 2024 22:23:16 +0000

When Pain is More Than Just a Monthly Visitor

I never knew when it would hit me. This time I was standing in front of my class of 28 third graders teaching a reading lesson. The pain was excruciating – like someone taking a knife and twisting it into my side. Quickly I turned away and bit my lip, trying to catch my breath without alarming my students. After what seemed like minutes, the pain subsided, and I let out a slow breath before resuming the lesson.

For months I endured this unpredictable yet excruciating pain. It was infrequent enough at first to ignore it but coupled with the fact my husband and I had been trying to get pregnant for several months, I decided it was time to see a doctor.

After seeing two different doctors and having a surgical procedure called a laparoscopy, I was diagnosed with endometriosis—a condition where tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside the womb. Endometriosis is more than just a medical term; it’s a daily struggle that affects approximately 1 in 10 individuals of reproductive age globally.

The Unseen Pain: Understanding Endometriosis

Endometriosis manifests in various ways, but one of its hallmark symptoms is debilitating pelvic pain. This pain can surface during intercourse, bowel movements, and even mundane activities. It can be occasional pain like mine, or relentless pain causing you to cancel plans, call in sick to work, or explain to friends and family why you can’t participate in activities. This is a daunting reality for those living with endometriosis.

Beyond the physical pain, endometriosis can significantly impact mental health. The constant battle with pain, coupled with the uncertainty and frustration of seeking a diagnosis and effective treatment can lead to anxiety, depression, and feeling of isolation.

Connecting: Endometriosis and Infertility

Although it is not always connected, almost 4 in 10 women with infertility also have endometriosis. Endometrial tissue can implant around the ovaries or fallopian tubes, which can damage the sperm or egg or prevent them from moving properly through the fallopian tubes or uterus, sometimes blocking the tubes altogether because of adhesions or scar tissue. It has even been shown to alter the immune system, alter the hormonal environment around the eggs as well as the quality of the eggs. Tissue can also implant on other organs in or even outside the pelvis.

If you have symptoms of endometriosis and are struggling to get pregnant, see a reproductive endocrinologist or gynecologist.

Navigating the Journey: Diagnosis and Challenges

An OBG-YN may first do a pelvic exam and order an ultrasound or MRI. Although this does not confirm endometriosis, it can highlight cysts which are sometimes caused by the disease.

The only way to properly diagnose endometriosis is through a surgical procedure called a laparoscopy. A thin, lighted telescope is inserted into a small incision allowing the doctor to view affected organs and/or take a biopsy to be observed under a microscope. The advantage of a laparoscopy is that endometriosis can often be diagnosed and treated during the same procedure depending on where the scar tissue is found and the extent of the damage. If damage is found in other organs, additional surgery may be required. Often, the surgeon can remove cysts or scar tissue during the laparoscopy, resulting in a decrease or even elimination of pain. Studies have shown that five years after surgery, up to 70 percent of women will have no evidence of endometriosis returning.

As with any surgery, there are risks. Your doctor will go over those risks and together you can decide which course of treatment is required. Pain medications or hormone therapy are other options for treatment. Due to the hormone fluctuations during the menstrual cycle, endometriosis causes tissue to thicken, break down, and bleed. Hormones may slow the growth of this tissue and prevent new tissue from forming; however, symptoms may return when treatment is stopped.

Patients who are struggling to get pregnant may be referred to a fertility specialist to discuss other treatment options to preserve and improve fertility.

Empathy and Support

Endometriosis is not just a condition that affects your physical health. Emotional support, education, and self-care strategies are vital to managing this condition. Finding others through support groups or online communities can help someone living with endometrial pain navigate life, share experiences, tips, and coping mechanisms and together seek out healthcare providers who specialize in endometriosis.

If you or someone you know is dealing with endometriosis, remember, you are not alone. Seek support and never hesitate to advocate for yourself. Feel free to contact us if you need a listening ear or help with finding a healthcare provider in our area.

Resources

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. (2020). Endometriosis Fact Sheet
The Endometriosis Foundation of American. (n.d.). Understanding Endometriosis
National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. (2021). Endometriosis: Overview.
Massachusetts General Hospital. (2023). Endometriosis and Its Impact on Fertility
Mayo Clinic. (2021). Endometriosis: Symptoms & Causes

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Understanding Post-Abortion Stress Syndrome: Unveiling the Struggle

Journey Women's Center — Fri, 08 Sep 2023 15:36:10 +0000

Every woman’s experience with abortion is unique, but terminating a pregnancy can be an incredibly painful and isolating experience. Although many women experience a sense of relief following their abortion(s), there are others who silently battle with long-lasting effects, like depression, anxiety, or trauma-related symptoms. These effects can persist for weeks, months, or even years.1

Ongoing disagreement exists within the mental health community on whether to recognize post-abortion stress syndrome (PASS) as a formal diagnosis, a condition believed to be related to PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). “Any event that causes trauma can indeed result in PTSD, and abortion is no exception,” writes Dr. Susanne Babbel.2

A 2017 study revealed that 67% of post-abortive women sought mental health services3, yet they may not connect their diagnosis to their past abortions nor discuss it with their counselors or therapists. Despite debates among experts and society’s minimization of its significance, women still grapple with the challenges stemming from their decisions.

This struggle continues even for those who believed they had no choice or dismissed it as a simple pill. Women experiencing post-abortion effects often feel the need to suppress or ignore their symptoms because they are told it’s not a real problem. Consequently, feelings of isolation intensify, leaving women who have undergone abortions burdened with the heaviness of their pain and grief.

Client abortion pill experience

“Can you tell me about your abortion experience?” I listened as a client shared her story. She talked about the events leading up to her decision, how she stayed determined even with mixed feelings, shared details about the abortion itself, and the fog of the days that followed. She had brushed past the tiniest detail and I almost missed it.

“Can we go back just a moment?” I asked. Her baby was the size of a pea, but she had gently scooped it up and held it in her hands.4 Her baby. She began to cry as she explained the anguish of that moment, overwhelmed and unsure what to do. Flushing it down the toilet seemed so insensitive, so wrong. She had no idea she would feel this way.

We believe that trauma following an abortion is real

It can have a profound impact on you physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Trauma is not the same as stress. It happens when you are left alone to confront something that completely overwhelms your entire being. In his book, The Body Keeps the Score, Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk explores how trauma affects the body. He emphasizes that trauma is not just something that happened in the past; it leaves a mark on the mind, brain, and body, and continues to affect a person’s ability to cope in the present.

He writes, “Being traumatized is not just an issue of being stuck in the past; it is just as much a problem of not being fully alive in the present.” Even though the event itself is over, your body continues to relive it as though it is happening in the present moment: “Her body felt the sadness that her mind could not register.”5

The journey to recovery is found in relationship. “Trauma steals our tongues,” writes trauma-informed therapist K.J. Ramsey. “Silencing ourselves is part of how we survive in a community, system, relationship, or situation where our attempts to seek safety are shamed or shut down.”6

Silence creates isolation

But there is power in the healing process. As you join with a caring and trustworthy community, where you are able to feel safe and supported, healing can begin. Others bear witness to your story, and as you find a safe space to process your pain and grief.

Post-Abortion Support Group in Enid, OK

Journey Women’s Center offers a recovery program that is completely confidential and free. Led by women who have found healing after their abortions, this small group offers compassionate support, a safe space to process, and the tools for recovery. Participants are surrounded by a community of women who are also on a journey toward hope and healing.
Learn more about our post abortion support group here.

We recognize that the impact of an abortion differs from person to person. If you have been facing persistent emotional, physical, mental, or spiritual challenges following your abortion, it is possible that you are dealing with post-abortion stress syndrome. Our goal is to offer the help and support you need. Reach out to us today and become part of a supportive community committed to healing. Take your first step towards hope and healing.

Signs of Post-Abortion Stress Syndrome

SIGNS OF POST-ABORTION STRESS SYNDROME7
Please note: The following questionnaire is not a substitute for professional assessment or diagnosis. It is designed to help in self-reflection and identify potential signs of post-abortion stress syndrome.

Are you able to share your abortion experience with others?
Do you avoid discussions, people, or situations that remind you of the abortion?
Do you anticipate negative things happening as a result of your decision?
Do you engage in self-harming behaviors or attitudes?
Do you feel like your relationships with men are unhealthy or toxic?
Do you feel like your relationships/friendships with women lack depth or authenticity?
Do you experience flashbacks or triggers related to the location of your abortion? (bathroom, shower, toilet)
Are you experiencing symptoms of depression such as decreased motivation, emotional numbness, or loss of interest in activities that used to bring you joy?
Do you feel anxious, regret, or anger around other babies or women who are pregnant?
Do you experience anxiety in your body around the anniversary of your abortion?
Do you feel alone with your emotional pain?

1H3Helpline. (2022b, September 6). Post Abortion Stress Syndrome. H3Helpline – After Abortion Helpline. https://h3helpline.org/help-after-abortion/post-abortion-stress-syndrome/

2Babbel, S. (2018). Post Abortion Stress Syndrome (PASS) – Does It Exist? — Dr. Susanne Babbel. Dr. Susanne Babbel. https://www.drbabbel.com/blog/post-abortion-stress-syndrome-exist

3Coleman, P. K., Boswell, K., Etzkorn, K., & Turnwald, R. (Winter 2017). Women Who Suffered Emotionally from Abortion: A Qualitative Synthesis of Their Experiences. Journal of American Physicians and Surgeons, 22(4).

4H3Helpline. (2022). As Easy As Swallowing A Pill. H3Helpline – After Abortion Helpline. https://h3helpline.org/as-easy-as-swallowing-a-pill/

5Kolk, V. D., & Bessel, A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. https://ci.nii.ac.jp/ncid/BB19708339

6Ramsey, K. (2022). The Lord Is My Courage: Stepping Through the Shadows of Fear Toward the Voice of Love. Zondervan.

7H3Helpline. (2022, September 6). Post-Abortion Symptoms Questionnaire. H3Helpline – After Abortion Helpline. https://h3helpline.org/help-after-abortion/post-abortion-symptoms-questionnaire/

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Breaking the Silence: My Experience with Infertility

Journey Women's Center — Fri, 08 Sep 2023 15:28:23 +0000

Even as a little girl, I knew without a doubt that I wanted two things in life: to be a teacher and a mother. Becoming a teacher ended up being the easy part. From the day we got married, I wanted to talk about a timeline for trying to get pregnant. I began making lists of names for a boy or a girl, and after few years we agreed to start trying. I knew it could take a few months; I figure two or three was reasonable. Then it was four. Five. Six. What was taking so long?

Soon the comments from family members began. “Should be about time, right?” “I can’t wait forever to be a grandpa, ya know.” I couldn’t really blame them; we had been married four years and were in our late twenties. But I wanted to keep private that we were trying. I had always imagined the surprise announcement we would make to our family and friends. The joy and hugs and congratulations! Now I had to pretend we weren’t trying. It was hard to skirt the issue without being angry and resentful.

For months I tracked my cycles. The instant I woke up I would roll over to take my temperature and pray that my period wouldn’t start. I began wondering if God was punishing me for something. What felt like should have been a natural and joyous process was filled with doubt and extreme sadness. Instead of decorating a nursery and choosing a name, it was filled with needles, medicine, surgery, self-injections, and most of all, the most intense longing I had ever experienced.

Some of the most dreaded times included Mother’s Day sermons at church. Watching each mother stand with pride as preschoolers wove through the pews, handing each blessed woman a carnation was a stab in the heart. Another was attending my friend’s baby shower. I felt so guilty that I wasn’t happier for her than I thought I should be. I also remember being so angry with my much younger sister-in-law announcing she was pregnant “on accident” with the first grandchild and then having them use the name we had planned for our first boy. We were supposed to have the first grandchild. We were supposed to pass on the family name.

Oh, and don’t get me started on the comments. Most people say things without realizing how it hurts. And honestly, how could they know how deep it cuts if they have never been there. Comments like, “You just need to relax. It will happen eventually.” Or “There’s plenty of time.” But if we are being real, how do any of us know it will happen for us? It’s a process that is mostly taken for granted.

I know now that I wasn’t alone. About one in eight women in the United States are diagnosed with infertility; having yet to conceive after one year of trying1. Not everyone decides to see a physician, but of those who do, 65% give birth and only 3% resort to IVF (In Vitro Fertilization).

Even if it hasn’t been a year, if you have had more than one miscarriage, are over 35 years of age, or have painful or irregular periods, you may want to consider scheduling an appointment with your doctor.

Some of you may already have a diagnosis. It might be a severe case of endometriosis. Or PCOS. Maybe you have an abortion in your past and you are wondering if that is a factor in your infertility journey. You may have irregular periods or maybe your partner has been diagnosed with a low sperm count.

I want to tell you as a friend. You are experiencing so much sadness. Don’t add loneliness to it. I would encourage you to reach out to someone. Find your person. Find that one sweet soul, or even online community of others, going through this same journey. Someone you can confide in. Cry to. Ask rhetorical questions. Someone who doesn’t give advice; someone who just listens. They may not have answers but mourning together is a healing balm.

If it is approaching a year of trying, talk with your partner about seeing your family doctor or specialist. They will go over your medical history, likely take some blood samples, and start you on a road to answers, and hopefully, the family you are dreaming of.

If you don’t feel you have anyone to speak with, we would love to listen to your story and walk through this time with you.

1 Infertility Facts, Diagnosis and Risk Factors. (2021, August 27). https://resolve.org/learn/infertility-101/facts-diagnosis-and-risk-factors/

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4 Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Journey Women's Center — Fri, 08 Sep 2023 15:23:09 +0000

Relationships are a part of each of our lives. Whether you are in a dating or marriage relationship, both require attention and care. Relationships impact all aspects of our lives including home, work, and leisure activities as well as our mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health. They can add joy and fulfillment to our lives but can also be a source of stress.

You may be questioning whether you should be in your current relationship or if there is anything you can do to strengthen your relationship with your partner. There are countless dimensions to every relationship, but here are four essential cornerstones to every romantic, healthy relationship.

Signs of a healthy relationship

1. Respect

Couples who have respect for one another accept each other’s differences and opinions. They feel free to share thoughts and ideas knowing they will be thoughtfully received and considered. It is trusting that your partner will make choices that are uplifting to both of you.

Respect builds one another up. In a respectful, healthy relationship, daily interactions are kind, honoring, and uplifting. This does not mean that there will not be disagreements, but both parties are willing to listen and compromise equally. Are you always the one to give up on your ideas, activities, dreams, resources, or your friends? If so, the respect may be one-sided.

2. Intimacy

Intimacy is all about connection. Intimacy requires vulnerability and transparency and involves meeting one another’s physical, emotional and spiritual needs. Vulnerability is being open with the parts of yourself that you only share with your innermost circle. It means sharing parts of yourself that, if revealed, make you feel open to rejection. Maybe it’s a difficult part of your childhood that you have never shared or maybe just the willingness to try something new with your partner that you are afraid you will fail at.

Transparency is the openness and honesty in a relationship to share difficult thoughts, feelings, desires and concerns without fearing rejection or judgment. A lack of transparency can lead to confusion or mistrust. Mutual intimacy should leave both partners feeling heard, accepted, and safe. Ask yourself, is there an imbalance in my relationship? Am I walking on eggshells trying to ensure his needs are being met while mine are taking a backseat? Am I asked or forced to engage in sexual acts more or less frequently than I am comfortable with or is there mutual intimacy?

Sometimes a lapse in intimacy is a result of not understanding how your partner gives and receives love. If you feel most loved when your partner serves you by helping around the house, but your partner feels most loved when you hold hands or give him a massage, you may feel as if your partner is ignoring your needs.

Communicating your “love language” can help couples recognize and appreciate differences while being intentional to show love in the way your partner prefers to receive it.

Dr. Gary Chapman speaks of this in his book The 5 Love Languages. In his book, Chapman states, “My conclusion after many years of marriage counseling is that there are five emotional love languages—five ways that people speak and understand emotional love.” He goes on to say, “Seldom do [intimate partners] have the same primary emotional love language. We tend to speak our primary love language, and we become confused when our [partner] does not understand what we are communicating. We are expressing love, but the message does not come through because we are speaking what, to them, is a foreign language.”

3. Communication

Communication is more than just letting your partner know your schedule. It’s more than asking about their day. A healthy relationship can deepen with communication that expresses gratitude and appreciation for what you enjoy about your partner. In a healthy relationship, both partners enjoy the fruits of appreciation and the trust to bring up things that are troubling them.

As with any healthy relationship, the ability to be open and vulnerable in our communication is key. Communication is as much about listening as it is talking. Both partners should be invested and focused on the conversation as well as on their non-verbal cues.

Listening without interrupting and acknowledging how your partner feels leads to greater intimacy and trust. Ask questions and confirm what your partner is saying. Try responding with, “I hear you saying…” When your partner feels you truly understand what they are trying to communicate, they feel validated and heard. When communicating about a conflict or concern, good communication involves taking responsibility and owning one’s mistakes, avoiding becoming defensive, and seeing one another’s point of view.

4. Trust

Trust is built over time with consistency in all of these areas. It leads to further intimacy and feelings of safety between a couple. When a couple has built a partnership on trust, they are free to be their authentic selves, and one does not have “control” over another.

Do you trust your partner to accept and consider your feelings? Does your partner consider you when making decisions? Are they true to their word? Do you feel safe enough to be yourself at all times? Love is born from trust, and a relationship without it will not stand the test of time.

All relationships take work and effort, whether you have been together for two months or 20 years; however, it should involve equal effort and compromise by both partners. Each one of us brings our own habits, trauma, and family background into the relationship.

Couples should offer and accept grace as you learn together. We all have room for personal improvement, and sometimes it is easiest to see faults in those around us; however, don’t make the mistake of excusing unhealthy behaviors that are physically, emotionally or mentally damaging to you.

Without practicing these essential habits on both sides, the relationship could become cold or even toxic over time. If trust is broken, it can take time and sometimes the help of a professional to build up again. If your relationship is struggling, consider consulting with a professional counselor. Don’t be ashamed. All relationships go through stages where a reboot or outside perspective is helpful.

Lastly, be willing to listen to wise and trusted friends and family members who are willing to ask the hard questions about your relationship. Although it may feel unwanted, allowing them to point out areas of concern can help you address potential issues head-on or help you reassess the relationship as a whole.

Chapman, G. D. (2010). The 5 Love Languages. Print.

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Teen Dating Violence

Journey Women's Center — Fri, 08 Sep 2023 15:06:25 +0000

He seemed like the ideal partner early on. He was charming and handsome and quickly swept you off your feet. You spent more and more time together, which seemed romantic at first, but now it seems like you are spending all your time together. In fact, you perceive anger and annoyance in his eyes and voice when you’ve been hanging out with your friends without checking in with him.

The insults and control started subtly but have continued to intensify over time. You want this to work so badly, and he usually apologizes the next day. Sure, you had noticed some red flags, but you never imagined things would end up like this. Maybe that’s what relationships are supposed to look like, right?

What is dating violence?

A pattern of behavior used to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate, dating relationship is referred to as dating violence.1 It can happen to anyone, including teenagers. In fact, around one in three high school students report being in a dating relationship where physical violence was present, and one in twelve state they have been a victim of sexual dating violence. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that about one in four women experience intimate partner physical violence during their lifetime.2

What does a healthy relationship look like?

While not all relationships will look the same, there are some important, foundational qualities that are essential to a long, healthy relationship. Some of these include respect, mutual intimacy, open communication, and trust. All relationships take work and effort, whether you have been together for two months or 20 years; however, it should involve equal effort and compromise by both partners. Without practicing these essential habits on both sides, the relationship could become cold or even toxic over time.

Signs of an abusive dating relationship

You might be in a violent dating relationship if your partner…

Checks your phone or social media accounts without your consent
Isolates you physically, financially, or emotionally from others
Exhibits extreme jealousy or insecurity
Has explosive outbursts or mood swings
Exhibits possessive or controlling behaviors
Pressures or forces sex or sexual acts you are not comfortable with
Puts you down, especially in front of others
Has physically harmed you one or more times

The Cycle of Abuse

After an argument, violence or intimidation, a partner will often shower you with an abundance of affection and attention. They may make promises to never repeat the behavior. This is called the Cycle of Abuse.

The four stages of the cycle abuse

There are four stages: building of tension, the abuse, the reconciliation, and a period of calm.

Stage 1: Building of Tension

During the first stage, the abuser may become angry or paranoid, causing you to become anxious and guarded.

Stage 2: the Abuse

Next, physical, emotional, or sexual abuse begins. It may look like emotional manipulation, violence, attempts to control, threats, or name calling. Victims often choose to stay with their abusers because of the next stage: reconciliation or “honeymoon phase.”

Stage 3: the Reconciliation

Gifts are given and promises are made to never commit the abuse again; and this results in the hope that this time is the last time.

Stage 4: Period of Calm

Lastly, comes the “calm” phase, but it is during this phase that the abuser justifies their behaviors, often denying or minimizing what actually happened or placing the blame one someone or something else. Unfortunately, the dangerous cycle continues and it can become harder and harder to exit the relationship.3

The aftermath does not affect just the relationship itself. Victims are more likely to exhibit depression and anxiety symptoms, consider suicide, develop sleep problems, and engage in unhealthy behaviors such as drugs and alcohol use.

What can I do?

Acknowledging and taking steps to address teen dating violence is difficult. Begin by believing that you deserve to be in a healthy relationship. Know that your personal safety should be your first priority! And not just physical safety, but your emotional, spiritual, and mental well-being as well. One is not more important than the others.

If you feel that you are in a violent dating relationship, reach out for help. Begin by telling a close friend, family member, counselor, or pastor. For immediate help, call the National Dating Abuse Helpline at 1.866.331.9474 or your local police department.

What if I’m pregnant?

If you have experienced an unplanned pregnancy as a result of being in a violent dating relationship, there is help available. Pregnancy Centers provide compassionate and confidential care. We can confirm whether you have a viable pregnancy and walk with you while you discuss your options. We also provide on-going practical and emotional support and can connect you to the resources and services that you need. You are not alone. 580.234.5660

1 Types of Abuse. National Domestic Violence Hotline (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.thehotline.org/resources/types-of-abuse/

2 Fast Facts: Preventing Intimate Partner Violence. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2022, October 11). https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/fastfact.html

3 Makin, Sara. 4 Stages in the Cycle of Abuse and How To Heal. (2021, April 26). https://www.makinwellness.com/cycle-of-abuse/

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Are Pregnancy Resource Centers Fake Clinics?

Journey Women's Center — Fri, 08 Sep 2023 14:25:30 +0000

Sometimes, it’s hard to know what is true, especially when there is conflicting information coming from sources you trust. And while we can’t speak for every Pregnancy Resource Center, Journey Women’s Center is passionate about serving the needs of women who may be facing an unplanned pregnancy.

Are Pregnancy Resource Centers fake clinics?

Let’s debunk a few myths:

MYTH: “Pregnancy resource centers are fake clinics and have no medical staff.”

TRUTH: Journey Women’s Center employs medical staff and provides care under the supervision of a Medical Director. All medical decisions, medical practices and standard of care are determined by the Medical Director, a licensed OB/GYN doctor from the community. Clients can meet with a Registered Nurse during Center hours. View all available free services here.

The Nurse provides pregnancy testing (urine test), answers questions, and provides education about pregnancy options and precautions, such as miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy. Limited OB ultrasounds are performed by a licensed RMDS-certified sonographer and are each reviewed by the Medical Director.

MYTH: “Pregnancy resource centers just want to preach at you.”

TRUTH: Journey Women’s Center provides permission-based care; clients are treated with respect. Our staff and volunteers ask permission before discussing topics with clients, whether that is providing education about abortion procedures or talking about spiritual things. Journey Women’s Center is committed to treating people with respect and compassion, regardless of their own personal beliefs or church affiliations. Our clients can confirm that the staff go above and beyond to make everyone feel seen, heard, and loved. Read client stories here.

The staff and volunteers serve the needs of their clients, right where they are, helping to connect them with the practical and emotional help they need to move forward in life.

MYTH: “Pregnancy Resource Centers only want to save babies and don’t care about women.”

TRUTH: Journey Women’s Center understands and respects the women’s right to make her own choice. We offer abortion education and counseling regardless of the woman’s decision to abort or not, and offers on-going practical and emotional support. Check out our post-abortion support group.

This also includes the decision to carry their baby to term or choose an adoption plan. Journey Women’s Center offers help to vulnerable women to include assistance with housing, medical care, parenting support groups and counseling. Check out our community services page for a list of housing and other services. We see the mother and baby as a whole and are equally concerned about the mothers’ needs being met.

MYTH: “Pregnancy resource centers don’t have to follow HIPAA and therefore all your information will be made public.

TRUTH: Journey Women’s Center chooses to follow HIPAA guidelines. Staff and volunteers are required to sign a Confidentiality Agreement and licensed staff must always comply with HIPAA or risk losing their medical licenses. All information is kept confidential, except in cases where reporting laws apply or if someone is believed to be in danger of hurting themselves or someone else. We do not disclose any personal information to parents, friends, or partners, without written permission from the client.

MYTH: “Pregnancy Resource Centers judge you based on your decision…or situation, sexual identity, beliefs…”

TRUTH: We each have a story. Our life stories are filled with mistakes, difficult decisions, and heartache. Our stories have deep wounds from past abuse, abortion, broken families, broken marriages, single parenting, financial struggles, and loss. It is not our place to stand in judgement of someone else’s story. It is our firm belief that God—who made us for a purpose and who loves us more than we can imagine, has the power to take the shattered pieces of our story and weave together a beautiful story filled with hope, love, redemption, joy, and community. Journey Women’s Center staff and volunteers do not discriminate based on race, sex, gender, or for any reason, but treats everyone with compassion and kindness.

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Vaping: Safe Alternative for Smoking During Pregnancy?

Journey Women's Center — Thu, 07 Sep 2023 14:08:29 +0000

*This blog post is not a substitute for medical care. Always consult your Doctor for medical advice.

Carly leaned her back up against the brick wall, placing her hand over her swollen stomach she sighed deeply. She watched squirrels chase each other up a tree, the smoke from Maggie’s cigarette swirling around them. Maggie laughed and ashed on the ground.
“So glad we’re having nicer weather and getting smoke breaks,” Maggie mused as Carly looked at the vape in her hand and took a long inhale, held it and exhaled. The scent of sweetness filled the air.
“Ooh, what is that pod?”
“Mint chocolate chip girl scout cookie,” Carly said, stretching her back and rolling her swollen ankles. ”I figured if I had to switch from cigarettes to vaping while pregnant it better be worth it.”
“Right! So vaping is safer than smoking? Man, I wish that I had that around with my two. My doctor made me quit cold turkey for my boys.”
Carly smiled and shrugged, “Yeah, I couldn’t imagine quitting, so this is better I guess.”
“But is it better?”, a kind voice asked from the doorway. Brenda leaned out and watched Carly take another slow drag. “Are you really sure it’s better? I mean I thought cigarettes and e-cigarettes were the same…since they literally are both cigarettes. You’re braver than me. I wouldn’t want to risk it.”

Later back at her desk, Carly couldn’t get Brenda’s words out of her mind. She rubbed her belly and felt the flutter of life, “I wonder if Brenda’s right? Is vaping really ok for my baby?”

Is vaping while pregnant safe?

Many pregnant women think using electronic cigarettes will not cause any harm to their unborn child. Unfortunately, there has not been enough scientific studies that show definitively how vaping can affect a pregnant woman or the baby she is carrying.

Women who vape while pregnant are taking a major risk that can have life-altering consequences for them and their baby. There have been studies done that show how harmful vaping is to the non-pregnant person. In fact, vaping is just as harmful to the average person as smoking a traditional cigarette. According to the CDC, the other chemicals in the aerosol, including nicotine, can cause a myriad of problems for the vaper. The idea that vaping is safer than smoking, is simply not based in fact. You can read the study from the CDC here.

Is vaping regulated?

“Vaping” is also called vapes, electronic cigarettes, tank systems, hookahs nic stick, wop machine and stig. These are some of the different names for the battery-operated device used when “smoking”. Unlike a cigarette, these devices heat up a liquid solution that is then converted into a vapor or fine mist in aerosol form.

Demand for e-cigarettes has exploded, and unfortunately, e-cigarette products are not well regulated. CDC research found that 99% of e-cigarettes sold contain nicotine, including vape liquids that were advertised as containing 0% nicotine. Scientific studies have proven that nicotine not only harms a baby’s brain’s development while in the womb, but can has negatively affect their future, their ability to concentrate and focus which has an impact on how well they are able to learn. It can also affect their moods and willpower, a willingness to stick with tasks that may be challenging.

For many, nicotine addiction can actually be a source of stress and increases the risk for future addictions to other illegal substances. Often those who vape are completely unaware of any harmful chemicals and other contaminants that they may be inhaling. Because of this inability to regulate, companies that sell e-cigarette products have touted vaping as an alternative to smoking and claims to be much safer. Physicians have also used electronic cigarettes to help aid patients to stop smoking and doctors have even recommended it in pregnancy, as in Carly’s case. The problem is that if you cannot know what or how many harmful chemicals you are inhaling, how can vaping really be a safe alternative? The answer again is, it’s not.

What about those harmful chemicals, such as nicotine?

Nicotine and the other contaminants found in traditional cigarettes have been studied extensively and proven to be harmful to a pregnant mother and her baby. It is well known that nicotine puts the mother at risk for miscarriage, can cause certain birth defects as well as poor development and growth of the baby. Nicotine and the other chemicals in traditional cigarettes have also been linked with learning disabilities and ADHD in children as they mature. Science has proven that traditional cigarette smoking is bad for you! It can cause cancer and it can clearly harm you and your baby. Electronic cigarettes may deliver the chemicals in a different package, but ultimately, they carry the same risks as cigarettes, since they contain the same contaminants which produce the same consequences as smoking cigarettes.

Why risk vaping while pregnant?

As Brenda asked, “So, if you know they both have nicotine why risk it when the outcome could be bad?” You might have tried vaping to deal with stress or anxiety, but your body becomes dependent because the chemicals in vaping devices and traditional cigarettes that are addictive. It doesn’t take long for your body to rely on and crave these “fixes”. Quitting cold turkey can be really hard. The process can sometimes be long, frustrating, and painful. You might feel anxious or depressed, have trouble sleeping or concentrating, and feel irritable or restless.

Thankfully there are organizations and counselors who are trained and prepared to help and support mothers during their pregnancy. 1-800-QUIT-NOW is an excellent resource and will help you develop and implement a plan to quit.

Talk to your doctor and discuss ways to quit so that you can have a healthy pregnancy for you and your baby. If you’re unable to quit while pregnant, make sure to speak with your doctor postpartum (after your baby is born), as studies have shown that nicotine is transferred through breastmilk, which can have serious, negative effects on your baby’s development.

You CAN quit.

Is vaping while pregnant safer than traditional cigarettes? The truth of the matter is, no. There isn’t any evidence that conclusively shows what the actual risks are related to electronic cigarettes. But studies have shown that traditional cigarettes and nicotine are not good during pregnancy and can be detrimental to you and your baby.

Long before you hold that precious baby in your arms, you’re a mom. Your instincts to love, care for, and protect your baby are already in place. Vaping has been promoted as “safer” and so attractive with all the fancy names and flavored pods. It seems so harmless, when it isn’t.

Making the choice to quit, for the sake of your health and your baby’s, is a hard and brave decision. You CAN quit! Reach out for help. Make a plan. Surround yourself with friends who can encourage and support you in your decision. Choosing to quit now is one of the most courageous things you could do for your baby.

Carly’s head was spinning with doubts. She looked at her vape pen and felt her baby kick, “Nope” she thought as she tossed it in the trash. She called her doctor and made an appointment to discuss steps about her quitting.
“I am not going to risk it. He’s too important”, she said to Brenda and Maggie.
And they agreed.

Vaping and Pregnancy by Maya Desai, Journey Works publishing 2018
Mothers to Baby Fact Sheet by Organization of Teratology Information Specialist (OTIS) www.mothertobaby.org

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention CDC E-cigarettes
https://www.cdc.gov/statesystem/ecigarette.html

4 Myths About Pregnancy and Vaping-Busted/ Robyn Horsager-Boehrer, MD
www.utswmed.org/

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