Pregnancy Archives - Journey Women's Center | Enid, OK

Navigating Postpartum Recovery

Journey Women's Center — Fri, 19 Jan 2024 22:30:11 +0000

I consider myself to be a very organized, prepared person, so before my twins were born I thought I had covered everything. Go-bag. Check. Nursery. Check. Meals prepped. Check. One thing I had not prepared for: my own recovery after the girls arrived.

Bringing a new life (or two) into the world is a beautiful whirlwind of change. Not only are sleep and caring for a newborn challenging, but emotions and various facets of postpartum recovery can creep up on you if you don’t expect them. Every woman has a unique experience. Some friends of mine delivered vaginally and were out shopping with their baby two days after giving birth. Others had horrible tears that required additional care. Mine was a c-section that left me on the couch for five days feeling helpless. This phase is often overlooked, but deserves attention, care, and understanding.

Physical Recovery

Whether you have had a c-section or delivered vaginally, take your doctor’s orders seriously. No one wants to deal with a painful infection while you are taking care of a newborn. Be sure to keep the wound clean and dry and watch for increasing redness or a hot feeling to the touch.

In the weeks or months after giving birth, your body is once again on a hormone rollercoaster. We all know hormones change our moods and emotions, but it can also impact things like our hair. When I began losing huge clumps of hair in the shower I was worried. Turns out it is quite common, but I had no idea! Ask your doctor (and friends who have had children) what to expect. Your experience may be different, but at least you will know you are not alone!

Expect your pelvic floor and abs to take a while to recover – and to need special exercises to get back to where they were before baby came along. The bands in your stomach had to stretch to allow for more room as your pregnancy progressed. Many women end up with a separation between the two abdominal muscles, which is referred to as Diastasis Recti. Weak abdominal muscles can lead to core instability, back or posture issues and sometimes constipation. Bladder and pelvic muscles are also impacted during pregnancy. No one thinks about dealing with a leaky bladder – until it happens to them. Discuss with your doctor which exercises will help with Diastasis Recti and incontinence and when it is safe to begin.

Emotional Well-Being

Postpartum emotions can change from one moment to the next: from joy and elation to uncertainty or even sadness. “Baby blues” refer to the first few weeks after delivery while your body is re-balancing your hormones. If anxiety, crying or restlessness continue, or if you have feelings of hurting yourself or your baby, you are not a bad mom! Some women’s hormones need help getting back on track. See your doctor promptly. Don’t feel guilty asking for help – be proud of yourself for helping you and your baby have a strong start! And don’t skip your postpartum check-up – even if you feel fine. Your doctor sees new moms every day and can be a great source of information!

Building a Strong Support Network

Moms are strong. No doubt about it. We become expert nose-wipers, diaper changers, meal-preppers, alphabet-teachers…you name it! But what we are not always good at is asking for help. It often makes us feel like a failure or that we can’t do everything. Ding, ding, ding! Guess what?! We can’t! And we don’t have to! I love meeting people’s needs, and I’ve learned that when I get turned down I feel like I am being robbed of being a blessing to others. Allow your partner, friends and family to help around the house – even if you can do it yourself. Take time to rest, heal, and bond with your baby. It is sometimes helpful to keep a list handy of things that need to be done, so that when someone asks you can say, “Well, here is my to-do list if there is anything on there you would enjoy doing.” This gives them a choice of how to help, and you don’t have to try to think of something on the fly that needs to be done!

Postpartum recovery is a transformation period that requires patience and support. Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all experience. Take time to nurture yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually and seek help when needed. And always remember to consult your physician for personalized guidance and care during this incredible part of your life.

Resources

• Mayo Clinic. (n.d.). Postpartum Depression.
• University of Colorado Women’s Health. Urogynecology. (n.d.). Incontinence After Childbirth.
• Cleveland Clinic. (n.d.). Diastasis Recti.

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Understanding Endometriosis: Navigating the Challenges and Seeking Support

Journey Women's Center — Fri, 19 Jan 2024 22:23:16 +0000

When Pain is More Than Just a Monthly Visitor

I never knew when it would hit me. This time I was standing in front of my class of 28 third graders teaching a reading lesson. The pain was excruciating – like someone taking a knife and twisting it into my side. Quickly I turned away and bit my lip, trying to catch my breath without alarming my students. After what seemed like minutes, the pain subsided, and I let out a slow breath before resuming the lesson.

For months I endured this unpredictable yet excruciating pain. It was infrequent enough at first to ignore it but coupled with the fact my husband and I had been trying to get pregnant for several months, I decided it was time to see a doctor.

After seeing two different doctors and having a surgical procedure called a laparoscopy, I was diagnosed with endometriosis—a condition where tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside the womb. Endometriosis is more than just a medical term; it’s a daily struggle that affects approximately 1 in 10 individuals of reproductive age globally.

The Unseen Pain: Understanding Endometriosis

Endometriosis manifests in various ways, but one of its hallmark symptoms is debilitating pelvic pain. This pain can surface during intercourse, bowel movements, and even mundane activities. It can be occasional pain like mine, or relentless pain causing you to cancel plans, call in sick to work, or explain to friends and family why you can’t participate in activities. This is a daunting reality for those living with endometriosis.

Beyond the physical pain, endometriosis can significantly impact mental health. The constant battle with pain, coupled with the uncertainty and frustration of seeking a diagnosis and effective treatment can lead to anxiety, depression, and feeling of isolation.

Connecting: Endometriosis and Infertility

Although it is not always connected, almost 4 in 10 women with infertility also have endometriosis. Endometrial tissue can implant around the ovaries or fallopian tubes, which can damage the sperm or egg or prevent them from moving properly through the fallopian tubes or uterus, sometimes blocking the tubes altogether because of adhesions or scar tissue. It has even been shown to alter the immune system, alter the hormonal environment around the eggs as well as the quality of the eggs. Tissue can also implant on other organs in or even outside the pelvis.

If you have symptoms of endometriosis and are struggling to get pregnant, see a reproductive endocrinologist or gynecologist.

Navigating the Journey: Diagnosis and Challenges

An OBG-YN may first do a pelvic exam and order an ultrasound or MRI. Although this does not confirm endometriosis, it can highlight cysts which are sometimes caused by the disease.

The only way to properly diagnose endometriosis is through a surgical procedure called a laparoscopy. A thin, lighted telescope is inserted into a small incision allowing the doctor to view affected organs and/or take a biopsy to be observed under a microscope. The advantage of a laparoscopy is that endometriosis can often be diagnosed and treated during the same procedure depending on where the scar tissue is found and the extent of the damage. If damage is found in other organs, additional surgery may be required. Often, the surgeon can remove cysts or scar tissue during the laparoscopy, resulting in a decrease or even elimination of pain. Studies have shown that five years after surgery, up to 70 percent of women will have no evidence of endometriosis returning.

As with any surgery, there are risks. Your doctor will go over those risks and together you can decide which course of treatment is required. Pain medications or hormone therapy are other options for treatment. Due to the hormone fluctuations during the menstrual cycle, endometriosis causes tissue to thicken, break down, and bleed. Hormones may slow the growth of this tissue and prevent new tissue from forming; however, symptoms may return when treatment is stopped.

Patients who are struggling to get pregnant may be referred to a fertility specialist to discuss other treatment options to preserve and improve fertility.

Empathy and Support

Endometriosis is not just a condition that affects your physical health. Emotional support, education, and self-care strategies are vital to managing this condition. Finding others through support groups or online communities can help someone living with endometrial pain navigate life, share experiences, tips, and coping mechanisms and together seek out healthcare providers who specialize in endometriosis.

If you or someone you know is dealing with endometriosis, remember, you are not alone. Seek support and never hesitate to advocate for yourself. Feel free to contact us if you need a listening ear or help with finding a healthcare provider in our area.

Resources

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. (2020). Endometriosis Fact Sheet
The Endometriosis Foundation of American. (n.d.). Understanding Endometriosis
National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. (2021). Endometriosis: Overview.
Massachusetts General Hospital. (2023). Endometriosis and Its Impact on Fertility
Mayo Clinic. (2021). Endometriosis: Symptoms & Causes

The post Understanding Endometriosis: Navigating the Challenges and Seeking Support appeared first on Journey Women's Center | Enid, OK.

Breaking the Silence: My Experience with Infertility

Journey Women's Center — Fri, 08 Sep 2023 15:28:23 +0000

Even as a little girl, I knew without a doubt that I wanted two things in life: to be a teacher and a mother. Becoming a teacher ended up being the easy part. From the day we got married, I wanted to talk about a timeline for trying to get pregnant. I began making lists of names for a boy or a girl, and after few years we agreed to start trying. I knew it could take a few months; I figure two or three was reasonable. Then it was four. Five. Six. What was taking so long?

Soon the comments from family members began. “Should be about time, right?” “I can’t wait forever to be a grandpa, ya know.” I couldn’t really blame them; we had been married four years and were in our late twenties. But I wanted to keep private that we were trying. I had always imagined the surprise announcement we would make to our family and friends. The joy and hugs and congratulations! Now I had to pretend we weren’t trying. It was hard to skirt the issue without being angry and resentful.

For months I tracked my cycles. The instant I woke up I would roll over to take my temperature and pray that my period wouldn’t start. I began wondering if God was punishing me for something. What felt like should have been a natural and joyous process was filled with doubt and extreme sadness. Instead of decorating a nursery and choosing a name, it was filled with needles, medicine, surgery, self-injections, and most of all, the most intense longing I had ever experienced.

Some of the most dreaded times included Mother’s Day sermons at church. Watching each mother stand with pride as preschoolers wove through the pews, handing each blessed woman a carnation was a stab in the heart. Another was attending my friend’s baby shower. I felt so guilty that I wasn’t happier for her than I thought I should be. I also remember being so angry with my much younger sister-in-law announcing she was pregnant “on accident” with the first grandchild and then having them use the name we had planned for our first boy. We were supposed to have the first grandchild. We were supposed to pass on the family name.

Oh, and don’t get me started on the comments. Most people say things without realizing how it hurts. And honestly, how could they know how deep it cuts if they have never been there. Comments like, “You just need to relax. It will happen eventually.” Or “There’s plenty of time.” But if we are being real, how do any of us know it will happen for us? It’s a process that is mostly taken for granted.

I know now that I wasn’t alone. About one in eight women in the United States are diagnosed with infertility; having yet to conceive after one year of trying1. Not everyone decides to see a physician, but of those who do, 65% give birth and only 3% resort to IVF (In Vitro Fertilization).

Even if it hasn’t been a year, if you have had more than one miscarriage, are over 35 years of age, or have painful or irregular periods, you may want to consider scheduling an appointment with your doctor.

Some of you may already have a diagnosis. It might be a severe case of endometriosis. Or PCOS. Maybe you have an abortion in your past and you are wondering if that is a factor in your infertility journey. You may have irregular periods or maybe your partner has been diagnosed with a low sperm count.

I want to tell you as a friend. You are experiencing so much sadness. Don’t add loneliness to it. I would encourage you to reach out to someone. Find your person. Find that one sweet soul, or even online community of others, going through this same journey. Someone you can confide in. Cry to. Ask rhetorical questions. Someone who doesn’t give advice; someone who just listens. They may not have answers but mourning together is a healing balm.

If it is approaching a year of trying, talk with your partner about seeing your family doctor or specialist. They will go over your medical history, likely take some blood samples, and start you on a road to answers, and hopefully, the family you are dreaming of.

If you don’t feel you have anyone to speak with, we would love to listen to your story and walk through this time with you.

1 Infertility Facts, Diagnosis and Risk Factors. (2021, August 27). https://resolve.org/learn/infertility-101/facts-diagnosis-and-risk-factors/

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Vaping: Safe Alternative for Smoking During Pregnancy?

Journey Women's Center — Thu, 07 Sep 2023 14:08:29 +0000

*This blog post is not a substitute for medical care. Always consult your Doctor for medical advice.

Carly leaned her back up against the brick wall, placing her hand over her swollen stomach she sighed deeply. She watched squirrels chase each other up a tree, the smoke from Maggie’s cigarette swirling around them. Maggie laughed and ashed on the ground.
“So glad we’re having nicer weather and getting smoke breaks,” Maggie mused as Carly looked at the vape in her hand and took a long inhale, held it and exhaled. The scent of sweetness filled the air.
“Ooh, what is that pod?”
“Mint chocolate chip girl scout cookie,” Carly said, stretching her back and rolling her swollen ankles. ”I figured if I had to switch from cigarettes to vaping while pregnant it better be worth it.”
“Right! So vaping is safer than smoking? Man, I wish that I had that around with my two. My doctor made me quit cold turkey for my boys.”
Carly smiled and shrugged, “Yeah, I couldn’t imagine quitting, so this is better I guess.”
“But is it better?”, a kind voice asked from the doorway. Brenda leaned out and watched Carly take another slow drag. “Are you really sure it’s better? I mean I thought cigarettes and e-cigarettes were the same…since they literally are both cigarettes. You’re braver than me. I wouldn’t want to risk it.”

Later back at her desk, Carly couldn’t get Brenda’s words out of her mind. She rubbed her belly and felt the flutter of life, “I wonder if Brenda’s right? Is vaping really ok for my baby?”

Is vaping while pregnant safe?

Many pregnant women think using electronic cigarettes will not cause any harm to their unborn child. Unfortunately, there has not been enough scientific studies that show definitively how vaping can affect a pregnant woman or the baby she is carrying.

Women who vape while pregnant are taking a major risk that can have life-altering consequences for them and their baby. There have been studies done that show how harmful vaping is to the non-pregnant person. In fact, vaping is just as harmful to the average person as smoking a traditional cigarette. According to the CDC, the other chemicals in the aerosol, including nicotine, can cause a myriad of problems for the vaper. The idea that vaping is safer than smoking, is simply not based in fact. You can read the study from the CDC here.

Is vaping regulated?

“Vaping” is also called vapes, electronic cigarettes, tank systems, hookahs nic stick, wop machine and stig. These are some of the different names for the battery-operated device used when “smoking”. Unlike a cigarette, these devices heat up a liquid solution that is then converted into a vapor or fine mist in aerosol form.

Demand for e-cigarettes has exploded, and unfortunately, e-cigarette products are not well regulated. CDC research found that 99% of e-cigarettes sold contain nicotine, including vape liquids that were advertised as containing 0% nicotine. Scientific studies have proven that nicotine not only harms a baby’s brain’s development while in the womb, but can has negatively affect their future, their ability to concentrate and focus which has an impact on how well they are able to learn. It can also affect their moods and willpower, a willingness to stick with tasks that may be challenging.

For many, nicotine addiction can actually be a source of stress and increases the risk for future addictions to other illegal substances. Often those who vape are completely unaware of any harmful chemicals and other contaminants that they may be inhaling. Because of this inability to regulate, companies that sell e-cigarette products have touted vaping as an alternative to smoking and claims to be much safer. Physicians have also used electronic cigarettes to help aid patients to stop smoking and doctors have even recommended it in pregnancy, as in Carly’s case. The problem is that if you cannot know what or how many harmful chemicals you are inhaling, how can vaping really be a safe alternative? The answer again is, it’s not.

What about those harmful chemicals, such as nicotine?

Nicotine and the other contaminants found in traditional cigarettes have been studied extensively and proven to be harmful to a pregnant mother and her baby. It is well known that nicotine puts the mother at risk for miscarriage, can cause certain birth defects as well as poor development and growth of the baby. Nicotine and the other chemicals in traditional cigarettes have also been linked with learning disabilities and ADHD in children as they mature. Science has proven that traditional cigarette smoking is bad for you! It can cause cancer and it can clearly harm you and your baby. Electronic cigarettes may deliver the chemicals in a different package, but ultimately, they carry the same risks as cigarettes, since they contain the same contaminants which produce the same consequences as smoking cigarettes.

Why risk vaping while pregnant?

As Brenda asked, “So, if you know they both have nicotine why risk it when the outcome could be bad?” You might have tried vaping to deal with stress or anxiety, but your body becomes dependent because the chemicals in vaping devices and traditional cigarettes that are addictive. It doesn’t take long for your body to rely on and crave these “fixes”. Quitting cold turkey can be really hard. The process can sometimes be long, frustrating, and painful. You might feel anxious or depressed, have trouble sleeping or concentrating, and feel irritable or restless.

Thankfully there are organizations and counselors who are trained and prepared to help and support mothers during their pregnancy. 1-800-QUIT-NOW is an excellent resource and will help you develop and implement a plan to quit.

Talk to your doctor and discuss ways to quit so that you can have a healthy pregnancy for you and your baby. If you’re unable to quit while pregnant, make sure to speak with your doctor postpartum (after your baby is born), as studies have shown that nicotine is transferred through breastmilk, which can have serious, negative effects on your baby’s development.

You CAN quit.

Is vaping while pregnant safer than traditional cigarettes? The truth of the matter is, no. There isn’t any evidence that conclusively shows what the actual risks are related to electronic cigarettes. But studies have shown that traditional cigarettes and nicotine are not good during pregnancy and can be detrimental to you and your baby.

Long before you hold that precious baby in your arms, you’re a mom. Your instincts to love, care for, and protect your baby are already in place. Vaping has been promoted as “safer” and so attractive with all the fancy names and flavored pods. It seems so harmless, when it isn’t.

Making the choice to quit, for the sake of your health and your baby’s, is a hard and brave decision. You CAN quit! Reach out for help. Make a plan. Surround yourself with friends who can encourage and support you in your decision. Choosing to quit now is one of the most courageous things you could do for your baby.

Carly’s head was spinning with doubts. She looked at her vape pen and felt her baby kick, “Nope” she thought as she tossed it in the trash. She called her doctor and made an appointment to discuss steps about her quitting.
“I am not going to risk it. He’s too important”, she said to Brenda and Maggie.
And they agreed.

Vaping and Pregnancy by Maya Desai, Journey Works publishing 2018
Mothers to Baby Fact Sheet by Organization of Teratology Information Specialist (OTIS) www.mothertobaby.org

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention CDC E-cigarettes
https://www.cdc.gov/statesystem/ecigarette.html

4 Myths About Pregnancy and Vaping-Busted/ Robyn Horsager-Boehrer, MD
www.utswmed.org/

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My Story of Prenatal Depression: What It’s Really Like

Journey Women's Center — Wed, 06 Sep 2023 19:33:27 +0000

My husband and I were married for many years before trying to have children. I had a great teaching career in a desert city that I loved. We had a life full of adventures, travel, hobbies, friends, and fun. We were very involved in our church. I had just run my first half-marathon and was training for a sprint triathlon.

Then, God changed our hearts, and we decided that we wanted to grow our family. Thankfully, we were blessed with pregnancy right away. We were excited and could not wait to meet our new baby.

Soon after our happy news was discovered, I developed morning sickness, or as I called it, all day and all night sickness. I felt horrible with no relief. At the same time, we decided to move back to my home state of Oklahoma. This was really exciting, but it meant I was leaving the teaching career that I loved, the city that I loved, the church we loved, friends we loved, and everything we had become accustomed to.

I was so sick that I could not exercise or train as usual. We moved right when the weather in Phoenix was reaching perfection and moved to a state where winter was just beginning. The gloomier days of Oklahoma were a stark contrast to the bright sunny days of Phoenix.

We were renting a house in Oklahoma City until we knew where we wanted to purchase a home. We were trying to save every penny to put into a house purchase so I was hesitant to even go to a movie or spend any money on something to distract me. Although my husband transferred with the same company, he had five weeks of training out of town. He was gone a lot, and I was left alone for days.

Even when he wasn’t out of town, he worked long hours, and I found myself very lonely without much to do. No matter how hard I tried, the listless, melancholy feelings were difficult to shake. With the move and complete change of lifestyle, I suddenly found myself lonely, without any activities or friends, and everything I had known in my life had changed. I wasn’t as sick as I had been, but the changes were overwhelming.

I was thrilled to have my baby growing inside, but my world turned gray and murky. Nothing seemed fun. I enjoy sewing, so I sewed and sewed, and I took long walks and went to the bookstore, but really everything just had a sense of “blah” to it.

Even though I was experiencing these feelings, and I knew that my joy and happiness was lacking, I did not realize that there was actually a name for what I was going through. I just endured it. I never mentioned it to my doctor. In addition, my back hurt constantly, and I was so uncomfortable as is a normal part of pregnancy. My only joy was preparing for the baby, but since we were renting and planning to move in the next couple of months, there wasn’t a lot to do.

The months, weeks, and days passed until my due date came and went. At this point, I entered an entirely different sort of humanity. I knew realistically that the baby would not stay inside me forever, but my mental state was not believing reality. I thought I would never deliver my baby.

Due to my doctor not wanting to induce for a week after my due date and then Easter weekend falling during that time frame, I went 10 days past my due date. After what seemed an eternity, I went to the hospital for delivery. When the nurses started working on me, it started to get real for me, and I truly enjoyed the entire process of delivering our daughter. It was so long awaited. I finally had a meaningful job to do, and it was wonderful.

When they handed me my newborn baby girl, the lonely, listless feelings instantly left me. Life was no longer gray and murky. My heart was full of joy, happiness, and excitement. I felt a rush of feelings that I had not felt in months. I call her my rainbow girl not because she came after a loss, but because she brought the color back into my life. I had a purpose again, a new little friend, and a reason for being here. My life was suddenly full, and everything was bright and happy and full of delight.

I absolutely loved every minute of being in the hospital, coming home, and newborn life. I would go to bed thanking God for another day of being her mom and wake up (even multiple times in the middle of the night) thinking, “Yay, I get to do this again!” I lived in a blissful bubble of happiness.

The complete change in my mind, heart, and life was astounding.

What is prenatal depression?

After awhile, sometime long after our daughter was born, I heard the term – prenatal depression. The Mayo Clinic defines depression as “a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest” and claims that “about 7% of pregnant women experience depression during pregnancy.”

I realized that I most likely experienced a mild version of this although I was never officially diagnosed by a doctor. The risk factors, signs, and symptoms vary. Thankfully, I never experienced many of the harsher signs and symptoms of depression such as anger about the baby, suicidal tendencies, or hurtful activities.

On the reverse side, I was overly anxious, very careful, and clingy to my husband. I had wonderful family support, and I never ever considered ending the pregnancy. In fact feeling the baby moving inside me, singing to her, planning and prepping for her, going to doctor appointments, and attending baby showers were almost my only source of joy and happiness in that time.

I’m very thankful that God saw me through my pregnancy, and that I did have a support system, a wonderful doctor, great care, and a very wanted pregnancy. What my experience showed me, however, is that if a support system and prenatal care is not available, this could be a much more severe struggle. It was hard enough for me.

Research shows that this is not as prevalent as postpartum depression, but it is something that does happen. Please do not give up if you are experiencing any type of depression symptoms. I encourage you to realize that you might be going through this type of depression and seek help. Places like the Journey House in Enid, OK are available and able to help walk with you through tough times that pregnancy can cause. Not all pregnancies are easy, but all babies are gifts from the Lord. It is important to seek help in order to keep from making any type of regrettable decision.

This was my experience with my first pregnancy. My second and fourth pregnancies were free of any type of depression, but I did experience a similar depression during my third pregnancy. I am so glad I did not allow the feelings of my first and third pregnancy influence our decision to have more children. Being a mother to my girls is a delight and a God-given gift as well as my new favorite job.

By Hayley Abbott

*Quotes in this are from Mayoclinic.com. Depression During Pregnancy: You’re Not Alone by Mayo Clinic Staff

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/pregnancy-week-by-week/in-depth/depression-during-pregnancy/art-20237875

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Ali’s Story

Journey Women's Center — Wed, 06 Sep 2023 19:19:16 +0000

If you are walking through an unplanned pregnancy, you might be feeling overwhelmed or scared. Maybe your mind is racing with thoughts like, “I’m not in a place to parent. I can’t provide for a baby right now. I can’t be a single mom.” You may still be in the process of deciding what to do and you feel unsure of the way forward.

No one plans to parent alone

Ali* loves kids and has wanted to be a “mommy” for as long as she could remember. But she hadn’t anticipated being a single mom at 19. She and her boyfriend started dating in high school and moved in together soon after graduation. Even though they had only been sexually active for a couple of months, pregnancy wasn’t part of the plan.

Early in her pregnancy, Ali thought about adoption as a possibility. She remembers that initially, she didn’t connect with her baby during pregnancy because her mindset was, “I am carrying this baby for someone else.” She had watched friends struggle for years with infertility and she imagined what it would be like if they raised her baby. She was comfortable with the idea of an open adoption. Open adoption provides a way to have an on-going relationship with your child and is a wonderful parenting plan for those who find they are currently unprepared or unable to provide for a child.

Ali’s boyfriend, however, remained opposed to the idea of adoption. By her third trimester of pregnancy, they had agreed to raise their baby together. Ali’s mindset shifted and she quickly found that she was connecting with her baby, as she began to think of herself as a mom. A couple of months later, Ali had an all-natural childbirth and said she felt empowered and amazed by what her body had gone through and an overwhelming amount of love for Cee*.

After Cee’s birth, life at home was growing more difficult. Ali struggled with postpartum depression and the relationship between her and boyfriend was becoming increasingly toxic. He had quit work and was now struggling with addiction and substance abuse. She was working two jobs and desperately trying to make ends meet. Ali finally broke off the relationship when Cee was just two months old. She had so many fears moving forward. She didn’t want her daughter to grow up without a dad.

Ali had lost her own father at a young age, and she didn’t want the same heartache for her own daughter. While she didn’t want her daughter to experience the abandonment she had, she also knew that what they had been living with was just as unhealthy. But Ali also valued her independence and wanted to prove that she could raise Cee on her own.

So, Ali made some big life-changing decisions. First, she looked for jobs that would allow her to have Cee present with her. She worked in retail, as a nanny providing in-home childcare, and at a daycare. While pregnant, she started attending parenting classes offered through a local ministry, Hope Outreach. She continued attending classes and the “Earn-While-You-Learn” program not only provided education and encouragement, but also opportunities to provide for her daughter. She was able to purchase clothes, baby items, and toys, along with diapers and wipes.

Ali quickly recognized that Cee was depending on her to meet her physical and emotional needs. She chose to let go of the “normal” freedoms and activities of her peers, and focused instead on being the best mom she could be. She feared she would be missing out but realized, “It’s not as hard as I thought it would be.” And she was surprised to find joy in watching her daughter grow and recognizing the role she played as “provider”. Ali is proud to see how capable she is as a woman. Not only did she provide for her daughter as she developed in utero, she provided in those early months of life through breastfeeding. “Anything she needs is all on me.” Cee is smart and sweet and silly. And Ali can’t imagine life without her!

If you are pregnant and unsure what to do next, we want you to know that you are not alone. There is help and support, whether you choose an adoption plan or whether you choose to raise your child on your own. Parenting programs offer practical help and support and there are support groups for single moms. You don’t have to walk through these decisions alone. Pregnancy Resource Centers have caring staff and volunteers that will take the time to listen to your story, love you right where you are at in the process, answer your questions, and help connect you with the resources you need. Though this may feel overwhelming right now, you might be surprised to find JOY where you least expect it.

*pseudonym; names have been changed to protect anonymity

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How to Handle the Holidays with an Unplanned Pregnancy

Journey Women's Center — Wed, 06 Sep 2023 19:16:35 +0000

For some of us, the thought of the holiday season and time spent with family brings anticipation and joy. And while families should be a safe space to land, they can sometimes be complicated, messy, broken, and even toxic. If you’re in the middle of making a pregnancy decision, you may find you’re dreading the holidays and family interactions. We are here to encourage you as you prepare for family gatherings.

Your feelings are normal

Whether you just found out you’re pregnant, or you’re in the midst of deciding what to do, feelings can come in waves and hit when you least expect them. You may experience feelings of sadness, fear, or anger. You might feel stressed and overwhelmed. Or maybe you’re feeling confused, unsure and scared. All of these feelings are completely normal, especially when facing something unexpected, like an unplanned pregnancy. You don’t have to stuff them down or hide them away! Give yourself permission to feel all of the emotions and remember that it’s natural to feel them.

You don’t have to tell anyone

Chances are that at some point, someone will notice you’re not acting like your “normal self”. They may make comments or ask questions. It’s okay to be honest that you’re dealing with something or that you’re not feeling well. It’s also okay to refrain from sharing the details of what’s going on in your life. Maybe nosey Aunt Judy isn’t the best person to confide in, but you can find someone who is trustworthy.

If you just recently found out that you’re pregnant, you might feel afraid of what others’ reaction will be on hearing your news. But having someone in your corner, who knows what’s going on in your life and who loves you no matter what, can make a huge difference! You no longer have to carry your secret on your own. If you’re further along in your pregnancy and starting to show, there may be questions about “what next?” or unsolicited advice. Give yourself permission to simply answer, “I don’t know yet.” Whether you have a parenting or adoption plan in place, or you still have no clue what you’re doing, you are allowed to keep that decision process to yourself. Those who love you will support you through the process without trying to pressure you into doing what they think is best.

You’re allowed to set limits

If you’re still living at home with your parents, you might not feel like you have much say over your schedule. So, while it might be more difficult to set limits for yourself, think through ahead of time what you can do when you start to feel overwhelmed or smothered. It’s okay to take a break from family time to go for a walk, read a book, or take a nap! Everyone should be allowed some “alone time” or to “sit this one out”. And if someone asks, “What’s wrong?”, you can honestly state your need without explaining why.

If you’re living on your own, you may choose to set some boundaries for how much “family time” you think you can manage. Remember that it’s okay if family members feel disappointed. You’re an adult! Give yourself permission to set limits on how much “togetherness” you can handle. It’s okay to give hugs and declare, “I love you all…and see you next year!”

You’re not alone

Feelings of loneliness can hit whether you’re surrounded by strangers or your own family members. If you are facing added challenges because of the complicated state of your family relationships, know that you will find love, kindness, and understanding here. No matter where you are in your pregnancy journey or decision process, we are here to listen without judgement and love without agenda. You are free to share your thoughts and feelings about your pregnancy. You have time and space to think through this decision. And you are allowed to not have all the answers right now. Because you are loved. Simply for being you.

The post How to Handle the Holidays with an Unplanned Pregnancy appeared first on Journey Women's Center | Enid, OK.

Struggling with Infertility? What you need to know.

Journey Women's Center — Tue, 05 Sep 2023 18:23:57 +0000

Before we jump in to expound on anything regarding potential causes, risk factors, or things you should know about infertility, we need to take some time to acknowledge two things:

Longing for a baby while being unable to conceive is a deeply personal and painful experience.

Whether you’ve been struggling to conceive for a few months or several years, there’s nothing worse than having virtual strangers weigh in on the most intimate aspects of your body and sexual relationship. Offhand comments or flippant questions, while appearing insensitive, can be deeply hurtful.

And it does not feel safe to confide, “We’ve been trying, but have been unable to have a baby.”

Secondary Infertility

For those struggling with secondary infertility, being unable to get pregnant or carry a baby to term after previously giving birth to a healthy baby, these comments and questions become even more complicated to handle. As you navigate the challenges of infertility, know that it’s okay to not give a response to the comments and questions. You are allowed to say, “I’m not comfortable talking about that with you.” Maybe allowing the person that made the comments or asked the questions to feel as uncomfortable as they made you feel, will help them learn a better way.

Infertility is not your fault

While it may be true that there is medically something that is not “working properly”, the causes of your infertility are outside of your control.

For those who experience miscarriage after a long struggle with infertility, the belief that they caused it or could have prevented it, can be devastating. Just as infertility happens for a variety of reasons, miscarriage has various probable causes, most of which are unknown.

Regrettably, many carry the burden of blame, falsely believing that their inability to conceive or carry a child are somehow their fault. And unfortunately, well-meaning people can add weight to this by implying that this situation could have prevented. This is simply not true. Just as you cannot control the miracle of conception, all the many details involved in ovulation and fertilization that need to happen perfectly to conceive, you cannot control the outcome of your pregnancy. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise! Including you.

Stats from Mayo clinic

According to the Mayo Clinic, up to 15% of couples in the US struggle with infertility, even after having “frequent, unprotected sex for at least a year”.

Possible causes of infertility

Causes in men

Infertility is a result of physiological issues, or how your body functions. Some of the causes of infertility in men include abnormal sperm function or production, health issues such as diabetes, medications, cancer treatments, sexual problems, and environmental factors.

Causes in women

Some of the causes of infertility in women include ovulation disorders such as PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), thyroid issues, endometriosis, uterine or cervical abnormalities, cancer, or early menopause. Thankfully, many of these physiological issues can be resolved or improved through medical advances. But for couples who are well acquainted with infertility evaluations and testing, knowing the cause provides little comfort to their empty arms.

Everyone’s journey is different

If infertility or miscarriage is part of your story, know that you are not alone. There are many people who struggle with both, but this commonality does not give license to say, “I know exactly how you feel”. Everyone’s journey through hardship and grief is different.

Surround yourself with supportive friends

So, while it is important to guard yourself against insensitive or nosey people, it is even more important to surround yourself with close friends. You need friends who not only know the deep pain you’re walking through, but who are willing to walk with you. Friends who listen more than they share advice. Friends who remind you of the truth and encourage you to keep going. Friends who rejoice over good news and provide comfort when the tears come.

If you have been struggling with infertility for any length of time, you know that quick tips and “how-to” posts will ring empty. Hope is found in being able to acknowledge the depth of pain, in being reminded that this is not your fault, and in bringing along close friends to support and encourage you on this journey. You are not alone.

To learn more about risk factors and causes of infertility or ovulation and tips for getting pregnant, you can check out the following links:

https://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/infertility/index.htm

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/infertility/symptoms-causes/syc-20354317

https://americanpregnancy.org/getting-pregnant/signs-of-ovulation/

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10 Essentials for Your Hospital Bag

Journey Women's Center — Wed, 30 Aug 2023 19:32:06 +0000

You’ve been waiting for this day with anticipation! It’s almost time to meet your little one. As you plan and pack your hospital bag, here are some helpful suggestions from new parents for essentials you won’t want to forget!

Clothes for Mom—pajamas/robe, comfy slippers, nursing bra or tank top.
All hospitals provide a gown, but they’re not made out of the most comfortable material, and can be a bit airy in the back. If you want something a little more stylish or comfortable, consider bringing your own pajamas. (If they’re pretty worn, how about treating your new momma self to a new set?) Robes are also fantastic, even if you do just wear the hospital gown. If you decide to take a stroll in the hallway, or if you have visitors, a robe will keep you nice and covered. While we all know that hospital rooms are cleaned frequently, the floors can still be questionable! This is especially true if you stay in the same room that you gave birth in. Most hospitals offer socks for you to wear when you get out of bed, but they are far from glamorous and not very soft. So, it’s always nice to have your own comfy socks or slippers to wear around your room or while you walk in the hallway. And if you are planning to breastfeed, you will want to bring a nursing bra and/or nursing tank top, as this will make the transition to breastfeeding easier. Don’t forget to pack a cute outfit to go home in! And don’t feel bad if it’s in maternity pants! Give yourself grace, as it will take time for your figure to get back to into those pre-baby jeans!

Clothes for Dad
Unless you’re planning to go back and forth between home and the hospital, you may consider packing a couple changes of clothes, as you could be staying at the hospital for two or more days.

Clothes for Baby
Some hospitals have clothes that you can borrow for your baby while you’re there, but you will want to bring at least one outfit to take your baby home in! Consider bringing a few outfits in different sizes, from preemie to 3 months, so you’re guaranteed to have something that will fit properly!

Toiletries
Most hospitals can provide you with the basics, like a toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo and body wash. But let’s be honest…they aren’t the most pleasant smelling or tasting. To improve your comfort, think through some essential toiletries that would make you feel more at home during your hospital stay. One new mom was so glad she brought chapstick, as most hospitals don’t have that available.

Prescription Medications
Make sure to pack your prescription medications. For moms, if you have any specific medications that you must take regularly, it is important to bring them with you to the hospital and let your nurses know. Most of the time the hospital will allow you to take your own medicine after it’s been verified by their pharmacy.

Bedding
Some people don’t care about what kind of pillow they use while others are very particular! Those hospital pillows are not always the best quality, so if you are particular you might want to consider packing your own. It can help improve comfort and sleep during your stay! Also keep in mind that most hospitals offer only a recliner or small couch for “guests”, so bringing along your own pillow and blanket can provide additional comfort and much needed rest to Dad! And don’t forget a blanket for baby! Even if your baby is not born in the winter, weather patterns are unpredictable. It is nice to have something to cover and protect your baby, just in case!

Phone charger
You know you will want to be taking a million photos of your new little one on your phone! And those pesky phone batteries don’t last forever. Hospitals do not typically provide phone chargers, so throw one in your hospital bag before you leave the house.

Entertainment
Dad’s often have a significant amount of downtime while at the hospital. Consider bringing along something for you to work on or read, or download shows or podcasts.

Cash
Most hospitals provide three meals a day and some even have snacks on the unit for in between meals. But it’s never a bad idea to have some cash on hand to snag your favorite snacks or drink from a nearby vending machine for those late-night munchies!

Car seat
You MUST bring a car seat to the hospital. The hospital will not allow you to take your baby home until you have a car seat to put him/her in. If you are not financially able to purchase a car seat, some hospitals can provide you with one but make sure to find out ahead of time!

Your hospital bag is ready!

Your hospital bag is packed, you’ve checked everything off the list! Now it’s time to put your feet up and enjoy this moment. Your life is about to change, and in a wonderful way. You don’t have to spend another minute stressing about what to pack. Instead, you can focus on the sweet little one you will be bringing home with you! And now that you’re a parent, check out the best parenting advice I’ve ever heard.

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How to Survive Morning Sickness

Journey Women's Center — Wed, 30 Aug 2023 19:24:59 +0000

If you are pregnant and struggling with nausea and vomiting, also known as morning sickness, you are not alone. According to the Cleveland Clinic, 70% of all pregnant women experience morning sickness during pregnancy.

No one really knows what causes morning sickness, but it is thought that hormones (hCG or estrogen) are the culprit. Things like stress, sensitivity to certain foods or smells, and motion sickness can also cause nausea and vomiting. And despite the name, morning sickness doesn’t always just occur in the morning. Often, it will begin in the morning and last all day. Morning sickness can start as early as 6 weeks and can last throughout the entire first trimester (12 weeks). Sometimes it can even last throughout the entire pregnancy.

While this isn’t great news, there are some things you can try that might help alleviate your morning sickness.

Morning sickness remedies

Eat 5 to 6 small meals a day instead of 3 large meals
Drink fluids between meals (not with meals) and avoid drinks high in caffeine
Suck on peppermints or ginger candies
Avoid spicy or fatty foods
Eat bland foods, such as crackers, toast, bananas, eggs, or rice
Drink hot tea with ginger, peppermint, or lemon
Avoid foods or odors that trigger nausea and vomiting
If prenatal vitamins are the cause, consider taking them with a small snack or at bedtime

When to contact your doctor

If these home remedies don’t help to alleviate your morning sickness, you can talk with your doctor about medications that are safe to take during pregnancy. Your doctor might recommend taking an over the counter vitamin B-6 supplement. Other medications might include antiemetics (such as Zofran or Phenergan), antihistamines, or anticholinergics. You will need a prescription for these medications. These medications can sometimes make you feel more sleepy, but taking them in the evening often helps.

It is important to note that although morning sickness is a common symptom of pregnancy, severe nausea and vomiting are not. Hyperemesis gravidarum is an uncommon disorder, which in extreme cases causes persistent nausea and vomiting occur during pregnancy.

This can lead to dehydration, which can be dangerous for a pregnant woman and her unborn child. Symptoms might include: vomiting 3 or more times a day, weight loss of 10 pounds or more, increased heart rate, dizziness, lightheadedness, fainting, an inability to keep food or fluids down, and dehydration. If you are experiencing these symptoms, please contact your doctor.

Some of the recommended treatments are the same as that for typical morning sickness, such as eating small frequent or bland meals, taking medication, etc. However, if a pregnant woman becomes dehydrated due to hyperemesis she may need to be hospitalized and given IV fluids. Severe or untreated dehydration in pregnancy can lead to neural tube defects, low amniotic fluids, inadequate milk production and even premature labor.

Morning sickness won’t last forever

While morning sickness can range in severity and affects women differently, the good news is that it doesn’t last forever! Your body is working hard to give your baby all of that it needs to grow and develop properly. For more information and ideas about what to eat and what to avoid during your pregnancy, check out our blog posts: The Best Foods to Eat While Pregnant and Five Things to Avoid While Pregnant.

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